Name: The Sports PhD
Height: 6’2"
Weight: 200
Office: Corporate Headquarters – Milwaukee
Day Job: Financial Analyst/Accountant
Fantasy Girlfriend: Jennifer Love Hewitt
Email: phd@sportsphds.com
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Favorites
MLB: Cincinnati Reds
NBA: Dallas Mavericks, Milwaukee Bucks
NFL: Kansas City Chiefs
NCAA: Ohio State Buckeyes
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Most Hated
MLB: New York Yankees
NBA: New York Knicks
NFL: Green Bay Packers
NCAA: Michigan Wolverines
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The Sports PhD brings a hard-hitting edge to the website. Acting as a quasi "social director" for the site, setting up many activities and road trips, and is one of the founding members. Originally from Milwaukee, with a brief stop in Chicago, The Sports PhD is back in Milwaukee as one of the many correspondents for SportsPhDs.com headquarters. The Sports PhD contributes to the site in the Daily Dose.
The Sports PhD is currently working on his Master's at the University of Wisconsin-Milwaukee. This allows him the opportunity to relive his college days and enjoy the fine accoutrements campus life has to offer. Mainly, drinking with coeds who were in 5th grade when The Sports PhD graduated high school.
The Sports PhD is addicted to prime time television, the History Channel, California, Sponge Bob Square Pants, The Real World, Chaundra Levy, Pedialyte for hangovers, strippers, and any girl who did not grow up in Wisconsin.
The Sports PhD extremely dislikes Oprah, Jay Leno, NASCAR, slow throwing left handed pitchers, snow, and the one night stand. Why not make it two?
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Name: Gooch
Height: 70
Weight: 160
Office: Corporate Headquarters – Milwaukee
Day Job: Network Engineer
Fantasy Girlfriend: Gisele Bundchen
Email: gooch@sportsphds.com
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Favorites
MLB: Baltimore Orioles
NBA: Milwaukee Bucks
NFL: Green Bay Packers
NCAA: Maryland Terrapins
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Most Hated
MLB: New York Yankees
NBA: Los Angeles Lakers
NFL: Tampa Bay Buccaneers
NCAA: Duke Blue Devils
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I like nachos. I helped create this site. w00t.
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Name: The Sports DOC
Height: 6'3
Weight: A svelte 240
Office: Corporate Headquarters – Milwaukee
Day Job: Quality Assurance
Fantasy Girlfriend: Leah Remini
Email: doc@sportsphds.com
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Favorites
MLB: Milwaukee Brewers
NBA: Milwaukee Bucks
NFL: Gotta go with the Titans or Ravens
NCAA: How can you pick just one or even two?
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Most Hated
MLB: New York Yankees
NBA: Los Angeles Lakers
NFL: Dallas Cowboys
NCAA: Whatever team I am betting against.
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One of the original founding members, the SportsDOC is responsible for Story Time and when he has time he edits contributor's articles. He is originally from Milwaukee and after spending five luscious years in Oshkosh, WI following his professional athlete dream and learning about the finer things in life (Women and Beer, not necessarily in that order) he has returned to his old stomping grounds. The SportsDOC has not given up his dream and is currently playing semi-pro football for the Racine Raiders.
On the weekends, the SportsDOC lets loose and can regularly be seen at the local watering holes. Some of his favorite lines are "Do you have any idea how much I can Bench?" and "Be safe, strap it up." and one of the best lines ever, "So, you want a shot at the title?" The SportsDOC has also been known to disappear and take long walks all by his lonesome to "get away from all the stupid people" and he did get lost once.
The SportsDOC describes himself as a "video game junky" and has been known to put in 24 hour video game sessions. He is a big fan of "good cartoons," Scooby Doo, Voltron, Transformers, He-Man, and GI Joe. He also enjoys a good martini. When asked if he could be anybody, real or fictional, he chose James Bond. The SportsDOC has aspirations of partying with Snoop Dogg, Kid Rock, and Seann William Scott. Currently he works as a customer service representative for the online banking department of a bank, which accounts for all the time he has to write articles.
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Name: The Sports GED
Height: 6’
Weight: 190
Office: Corporate Headquarters – Milwaukee
Day Job: Interweb Surfer
Fantasy Girlfriend: Eliza Dushku
Email: ged@sportsphds.com
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Favorites
MLB: Milwaukee Brewers
NBA: Milwaukee Bucks
NFL: Green Bay Packers
NCAA: Alabama Crimson Tide
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Most Hated
MLB: Kansas City Royals
NBA: Allen Iverson (practice)
NFL: Dallas Cowboys
NCAA: UCLA
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Fuck
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Name: Rios
Height: 6’5"
Weight: 215
Office: Field Office - Madison
Day Job: Business Analyst
Fantasy Girlfriend: Daphne from Scooby-Doo
Email: rios@sportsphds.com
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Favorites
MLB: New York Yankees
NBA: none
NFL: Green Bay Packers
NCAA: Wisconsin Badgers
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Most Hated
MLB: Chicago Cubs
NBA: Milwaukee Bucks
NFL: Chicago Bears
NCAA: Iowa Hawkeyes, Minnesota Gophers
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Rios works out of the SportsPhDs.com Madison field office. Rios contributes to the site in The Booth. He often makes business trips to the Milwaukee headquarters for various executive meetings and business lunches. He is originally from Madison, WI, and after a 4 ½ year detour at UW-Platteville and another 1 ½ years working in the cesspool also known as Dubuque, Iowa, Rios returned to Madison to work as a business analyst for a nationally recognized IT corporation. While in college, Rios played three years of college baseball while pursuing a degree in business administration.
Rios likes to spend his free time playing hoops and lifting weights so he has a respectable answer to the question “How much ya bench?” He can also be seen hitting cleanup for the Madison Senators in the Rock River Baseball league during the summers.
Rios can usually be heard shouting “BAAAHHH” at bouncers as he is leaving bars and quoting his favorite movies. During the weekends he likes to kick it at the downtown Madison campus bars pretending he is still in college.
Rios’ favorites include: Seinfeld reruns, The Real World, Skoal Straight Long Cut, Blatz Light, Jim Rome, and all boy bands. Rios can’t stand people who drive the wrong way in parking lots, granny panties, snow, white trash, triangles, and meetings on the mound.
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Name: Maly Mal
Height: 5' 9"
Weight: 169
Office: Corporate Headquarters - Milwaukee
Day Job: Real Estate Agent
Fantasy Girlfriend: Alyssa Milano
Email: m-m@sportsphds.com
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Favorites
MLB: Atlanta Braves
NBA: Dallas Mavericks, Milwaukee Bucks
NFL: Green Bay Packers
NCAA: Marquette Golden Eagles
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Most Hated
MLB: Arizona Diamondbacks
NBA: Chicago Bulls
NFL: Chicago Bears
NCAA: Michigan State Spartans
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Original Father of Party Central which you all know as “The Cow”. Maly Mal is a smooth young-buck, born and raised in Milwaukee. He contributes financial counseling to the site’s followers with his raucous piece of “2 Beers Pickem, while holding it down as a Milwaukee Correspondent. He also doubles as a real estate agent for Town & Lake Realty.
Maly Mal is often tabbed 2 Beers for his reoccurring drunken response to how much he’s drank at the latest SportsPhD’s function, “I’ve only had like 2 Beers”. Other frequent statements heard from this brother while intoxicated are various lines from the movie “Varsity Blues”. Such as, “I am eighteen and I have had sex with older women before” and “Would Allah nail Darcy? I think he would.”
2 Beers Do List includes: Miller Lite, WaRboB’s Mom, crab ran goons, Pepsi, the movie “Red Dawn”, hottie’s as long as Wilhelm hasn’t touched them, & Miller Lite again. (Remember 2 Beers)
Do Not List includes: Bud (Tastes like horse piss) Light, any baseball team but the Braves, & last but not least, fat chicks.
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Name: Andrew Wagner
Height: 6’ 5 3/4”
Weight: 180 (65 lbs of gut)
Office: Corporate Headquarters – Milwaukee
Day Job: Sportswriter/Broadcaster
Fantasy Girlfriend: The chick from “Out Of This World”
Email: TheProletariat@sportsphds.com
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Favorites
MLB: Milwaukee Brewers
NBA: N/A
NFL: Cincinnati Bengals
NCAA: Wisconsin Badgers
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Most Hated
MLB: Chicago Cubs
NBA: N/A
NFL: Green Bay Packers
NCAA: Marquette Golden Eagles
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Like many a young woman with aspirations of hitting Broadway, only to end up in a Santa Monica porn studio, The Proletariat joined the staff in fall 2003 after a fledgling career as a “legitimate” sports journalist. He’s been a writer on the staff of the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel, Winona Daily News, and Wisconsin State Journal, and has wrote and worked for numerous other papers and broadcast outlets in the country.
While working as a broadcaster and commentator in Oshkosh, the Proletariat befriended the SportsDOC (and even bailed him out of the County Hotel once). Women of the Fox Valley immediately began to live in fear. During his time in OshVegas, the Proletariat hosted his own call-in sports talk show, and hosted the broadcasts of UW-Oshkosh football and basketball.
The Proletariat thoroughly enjoys: Anything Milwaukee (he harbors a desire to run for Mayor), the Brewers, George Webb, Lederhosen and polka music, German Girls, the Bearcats, Panthers or Badgers, D-III hoops, MASH, Simpsons, the Big Lebowski, Swingers, and the Rat Pack, the Real World (auditioned twice) and a good old fashioned Macro Brew.
He is greatly offended by the mere mention of Gary Gaeitti, Mar-&^%$#@!-quette, Notre Dame, Paul Molitor, Budweiser products, and anything that has to do with Chicago or the Packers, Psycho women, and jags who consider ripped up khakis and a tie “dressing up”.
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Name: SFFOT
Height: 6’0”
Weight: 215
Office: Corporate Headquarters – Milwaukee
Day Job: Billing Department Clerk
Fantasy Girlfriend: Alyssa Milano
Email: sffot@sportsphds.com
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Favorites
MLB: Philadelphia Phillies
NBA: Houston Rockets
NFL: Green Bay Packers
NCAA: North Carolina Tar heels
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Most Hated
MLB: New York Yankees
NBA: Milwaukee Bucks
NFL: Minnesota Vikings
NCAA: Wisconsin Badgers
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SFFOT was given his name in a famous strip club in Iowa. For his proficiency with dollar bills, or the ones The PhD was putting behind his head, he received preferential treatment from some superheroes (strippers). SFFOT stands for Schmidty Face Full Of Titty. As WarBob is our resident bartender, SFFOT is our resident chauffeur. SFFOT always clutches up and comes through when someone is needed to de a designated driver. Although he may be more loaded than the rest of the crew sometimes.
Depending on the month of the year, SFFOT could be at a completely different job. He continues to absorb work experience across many industries. SFFOT moonlights as a first baseman/catcher/outfielder for one of the many Milwaukee teams with WarBob and most recently played in Miller Park.
SFFOT loves a good chew, and despises the Brewers. SFFOT keeps certain outlets of Blockbuster Video profitable as he believes there is a possibility he could “rent to own” Madden 2004.
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Name: The Cow
Height: 1'5"
Weight: 2
Office: Corporate Headquarters – Milwaukee
Day Job: None
Fantasy Girlfriend: The Farmer’s Daughter
Email:
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Favorites
MLB: Minnesota Twins
NBA: Chicago Bulls
NFL: Buffalo Bills
NCAA: Buffalo Sabres
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Most Hated
MLB: Cleveland Indians
NBA: San Antonio Spurs
NFL: Green Bay Packers
NCAA: Calgary Flames
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The Cow was born in Eau Claire in 1999, and made a pilgrimage to Milwaukee. The SportsPhD.com crew adopted The Cow shortly thereafter. The Cow was struggling in his new settings until he found his calling in a pool of oil and wrestling a stripper in Montello, WI. From that point on, this quiet farm animal got mixed up in all the obsesses of night life and enjoys the weekends.
Some of The Cow's hobbies include: strip clubs, Summerfest, softball tournaments, and licking himself.
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